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hello.



I'm Syaza.
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can't you tell that I need you?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010, 3:06 AM

So there he was, standing, watching hopelessly over New York City. His breaths were uneven. His legs were shaky. I could tell something was wrong, but my question is - what? As I get closer, his head slowly turns around, his sad puppy dog eyes were filled with tears. His skin was as pale as snow, and his lips were dry and chapped. I stroked his hair, hoping that he'll snap out of this trance that he was in, but no. He was still standing there, now looking directly into my eyes. I could see his mouth opening, but before he could say anything, I put my finger against his lips.

Slowly, I said, "Hush, you don't have to say anything,"

Those seven words proved to be too much for him, as he immediately pushed my hand away and starting to mumble strange words.

"Did I say or do something wrong? If I did, I'm so sorry, I never meant to do anything to hurt you, I swear", I whispered.

As those words were spoken by me, he suddenly turned back, facing me. I could see trails of sweat rolling down his cheeks, as if he was nervous. "No, it's not you who's wrong. It's me. I'm not good enough for you. Please go, I hate for you to see me in such a weak manner,"

Those words hit me like a punch right in the face. I was puzzled. What made him think he wasn't good enough for me? What happened to him to even make him think that? I tried getting closer, but every time I walk closer, he starts to walk away. Gradually, I gained speed, and hugged him from the back. I held onto him so tightly that I knew for sure it would change his mind.

"Please don't go, I'm in love with you. You can't just leave. Just tell me what's wrong, and I can fix it,"

Then, a soft yet shaky voice exited his mouth, "You can't fix this."

I was still hugging him from behind, when suddenly, his whole body felt heavier. I couldn't sustain the weight of his body. He fell. There he was, on the floor, no breaths. His body wasn't moving. He was gone.

Yours truly,
Syaza =)

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