Spiritual Gangster

Monday, September 3, 2012, 10:38 PM

I'm lost.

Every second of every day is a blur to me. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say; I'm just, lost. It's like a black hole, constantly pulling me back in despite every attempt to try and escape it. Things are not like how they used to be like. Things were good, but you know what they say - all good things come to an end.

Contrary to how I want to think about all of it, I'm still a little dazed and confused. Mixed signals, accidental revelations, it's all just spiralling out of control and I don't think I can handle it. I thought I could, but I can't. Was it all just a lie? Was it all just a big form of deception? Was I just a page in your book? You were like the night sky to me. You were the stars navigating me through the night. You were the cool breeze keeping me sane. You were every part of my dream at night. You were the night to me.

I knew it was all too good to be true.

You are my night,

You are my moon,

You are the one that left me jejune,

With every word,

With every stare,

You crack a smile as if you care,

Come earthquakes or hurricanes,

Come waves or hailstorms,

I'm waiting with my heart deformed,

For you to say,

For all these years,

It was all to clear my tears.

And here I'm standing,

And here it goes,

It was never ever me you chose.

- Jia