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I'm Syaza.
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slow night, so long
Sunday, March 6, 2011, 1:07 AM

"Spent my entire life chasing ghosts, only to find out they were figments of my overheated imagination,"

Haven't written in a while. I miss it, actually. Life's been far too hectic for me to even have the time to sit down and take a breather. My head's all jumbled up and I've never been more exhausted in my life, but I know this is all for the best.

Education has been my top priority now. Everywhere I go, I just can't help but think about my future; where I'm gonna further my studies, what I'm gonna be, what course am I gonna take. It's all been a mess. I'm still not sure what I'm gonna do in life. Right now, I'm torn between culinary arts and photojournalism. I just can't choose now. I'm afraid I might make the wrong decision, you know. What if I pick one and end up regretting it? Ugh, this is killing me.

One thing has been decided though - I'm working my ass off to get a scholarship. I hate how everybody's assuming that my parents are gonna be the ones paying for my studies. I mean, come on. Right now, they're already paying for my brother's tuition fees, I really don't want to trouble them any more than I already have. Plus, if they're paying for me, they're gonna have to pay double, considering I have a twin sister and all. I want to make them proud, and I sure as hell don't want them taking out a single cent out of their bank account just to support me, when I can just make it easier for all of us and get a scholarship.

People laugh when I say I'm trying to get a scholarship. They do. I bet they think I'm not eligible for one, or that I'm taking it away from somebody who actually needs it, but hey, I need it too. I want it. Yes, my overall attendance percentage might not be ideal, but that doesn't mean I'm not serious about this. I am.

I'll show you. I'll show all of you!

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